I’ve never regretted anything in my life, probably I’ll never will and from every little thing, good and bad, I’ve learned. Sometimes I make the same mistakes again but at least I know what the possible outcome is or what to expect due to the previous experience. It’s hard though, for a person like me who usually follows the wrong things looking for interesting experiences, even when I know in advance that it’s probably a bad idea. At the end I’m the only one to blame, I’m the one who allows these things to happen, I’m the one who prefer to screw myself up before someone else does, that’s my mechanism, but right now I’m starting to think that the damage I cause to myself it’s way worst than the one somebody else could cause…
It’s almost like self destruction, knowing your killing your soul and continuing to do so. It’s like an energy drink, at first it gives you the feeling that you can take everything, that you have the power, that you can do anything, but at the end you crash, you end up feeling beat, your day suddenly becomes slower, your shoulders drop, your chest hurts and then you know that you should have listen to that inner voice that always tells you to stop.
I used to feel like this almost everyday long time ago, I almost forgot about it. Now I’ve brought back that demon that used to live inside and I know it will be hard to stop him for a long time. I guess I’ll have to get used to him again. The damage it’s done, so again, no regrets, I’ll keep living my days waiting for another chance to stab myself a little deeper. At least I will know how to cover the scar and move on…
It’s almost like self destruction, knowing your killing your soul and continuing to do so. It’s like an energy drink, at first it gives you the feeling that you can take everything, that you have the power, that you can do anything, but at the end you crash, you end up feeling beat, your day suddenly becomes slower, your shoulders drop, your chest hurts and then you know that you should have listen to that inner voice that always tells you to stop.
I used to feel like this almost everyday long time ago, I almost forgot about it. Now I’ve brought back that demon that used to live inside and I know it will be hard to stop him for a long time. I guess I’ll have to get used to him again. The damage it’s done, so again, no regrets, I’ll keep living my days waiting for another chance to stab myself a little deeper. At least I will know how to cover the scar and move on…
Sera eso como matadora de almas?
ReplyDeleteCon que tipo de armas.
Matas las almas?
Nice ah! Juats japening?
hahahaha Not everything I say makes sense, but I know for sure that some other famous writers and poets in history have written some crazy things also. Weapons?? There are lots of things in life that give you that feeling, that you are killing your soul but that’s another $20....
ReplyDeleteJuats hapening? jaja well, I've lost weight, I'm obsess with a forbidden fruit (but delicious I must admit), I’ve been reading an Obama book (first political attraction in my life), I've been looking for entertaining company (to put some other demons at ease, but no luck) and I'm waiting for a pool match.... nothing much...
What about you??, I was missing you already, I think you are the only one who reads my stuff, yours are the only comments I get, at some crazy point I thought my writing would be more interesting for other people…I guess not….
PERHAPS people are scared of you. On the other hand no one left a comment in my blog until I saw a youtube video he had posted and commented
ReplyDeleteabout it with my usual tenderness. Amilcargarcianoseque, elartededesaparecer.blogspot.com,then after some friendly well thought/written comments on his part, disappeared refusing any further
contact.
I still visit his somewhat sad blog, but leave no comment.
If that match is necessary send an email.
You may check your favorite blogger also
on Punto Hispano....got a few fans there.
In brief, why would any reasonable person leave
a comment to a soul slayer?
Uhhh I think I'm lost... I'm used to your organized way of writing, this time it seemed like you just drop some words here and there...
ReplyDeleteAnyways… The pool match is not what I would call “necessary”, in fact who makes a poll match “necessary” to their life??, well maybe a professional pool table player who needs to play in order to pay his bills but in this case, I guess we are not one of them, so… Sounded like something fun at first, you were the one who mention the idea, I just danced at your rhythm.
If I scare people then I get to the conclusion that people are really scary for me, because if everyone get scared of simple writing then expressing myself with words, face to face will probably make them drop death, someone that weak and explosive walking around it’s in fact scary… No but seriously, I know what you mean; people are always scared of true words, of crudeness, of people who speak their minds, too bad, cause’ I’m not stopping; I’ve come a long way from silence and repression…
Why would any reasonable person leave
a comment to a soul slayer? Ask yourself, you did…