What is about us that we force ourselves to be something that I’m beginning to believe we’ll never be? We’ve been convincing ourselves that we are so different to animals, “rational creatures” we call ourselves and yes, we are indeed, but somehow we can’t deny our instincts, our deepest selves, no matter how hard you try to keep that part hidden, sooner or later, at least a little corner of that blanket will show…
We are creatures with too many feelings: love, desire, passion, hate, pity, compassion, selfishness, indifference and so. Also we have some other things that we learn along the way that becomes as strong as feelings for us: like religion, morals, education, respect and so. Then when we mix both parts, that’s when we become rational beings, when we use one part to support the other. For example: you love your mother based on gratitude and her unconditional love, when you marry someone because you love that person and you want to make a commitment of love and respect or when a woman becomes a nun and decide to be celibate because of her love to God and dedication to serve Him… But’ what really lives in our heart? Does that nun ever get horny? Does she fall from grace touching herself to relieve her inner heat? What happened when we commit to someone because we fell in love and we were so sure that we just founded the perfect person for us and then later in life you meet someone that fits you better, that really is your soul mate?? When you start feeling desire for more than one person at a time? When you wish you could have both?.... Do we cheat? Do we lie? Do we simply regret and keep our feet on the line? This is where our animal part comes out and we begin having fights with the emotions cocktail…
Is that really a bad thing? I suppose it is, but only because of my morals; but am I going against my human nature? Yes, I think so… Even when we decide not to follow our inner thoughts, they are already precisely that, inner thoughts… Is not that I think that just by thinking you are committing a sin, but I do happen to know that those thoughts will cause some other things, even if you don’t notice it, in order to set themselves free. Your subconscious does the dirty work for you…
We end up doing things because nobody wants to be the villain in the movie; we feel the compromise, the duty calling to be a “good human”. We exchange passion and sexual moments with people we don’t even like or love just because some other reasons and then we end up wishing for someone else. Some people are strong enough to be un-happy and un-satisfied the rest of their lives, some rather lie and cheat, for me both actions are simply wrong, but you can only choose one side and society wise, there’s only black and white, good or bad, no grays in between, whoever works with the grays will be pointed out as a mad man…
So, commitment after all it’s not our strongest quality, we usually hate ourselves for the lack of it. We feel the urge to be selfish and to act based on what we want but most of the time we slap ourselves awake in order to stay in the moral/society line. The questions remain and no fair answer to convince me… How straight can we walk through that line? How long can we stay on that line? How bad do we want to jump out of it? Are we rational wishing not to be?... that’s the tricky part and being honest I feel the urge to run wild…
We are creatures with too many feelings: love, desire, passion, hate, pity, compassion, selfishness, indifference and so. Also we have some other things that we learn along the way that becomes as strong as feelings for us: like religion, morals, education, respect and so. Then when we mix both parts, that’s when we become rational beings, when we use one part to support the other. For example: you love your mother based on gratitude and her unconditional love, when you marry someone because you love that person and you want to make a commitment of love and respect or when a woman becomes a nun and decide to be celibate because of her love to God and dedication to serve Him… But’ what really lives in our heart? Does that nun ever get horny? Does she fall from grace touching herself to relieve her inner heat? What happened when we commit to someone because we fell in love and we were so sure that we just founded the perfect person for us and then later in life you meet someone that fits you better, that really is your soul mate?? When you start feeling desire for more than one person at a time? When you wish you could have both?.... Do we cheat? Do we lie? Do we simply regret and keep our feet on the line? This is where our animal part comes out and we begin having fights with the emotions cocktail…
Is that really a bad thing? I suppose it is, but only because of my morals; but am I going against my human nature? Yes, I think so… Even when we decide not to follow our inner thoughts, they are already precisely that, inner thoughts… Is not that I think that just by thinking you are committing a sin, but I do happen to know that those thoughts will cause some other things, even if you don’t notice it, in order to set themselves free. Your subconscious does the dirty work for you…
We end up doing things because nobody wants to be the villain in the movie; we feel the compromise, the duty calling to be a “good human”. We exchange passion and sexual moments with people we don’t even like or love just because some other reasons and then we end up wishing for someone else. Some people are strong enough to be un-happy and un-satisfied the rest of their lives, some rather lie and cheat, for me both actions are simply wrong, but you can only choose one side and society wise, there’s only black and white, good or bad, no grays in between, whoever works with the grays will be pointed out as a mad man…
So, commitment after all it’s not our strongest quality, we usually hate ourselves for the lack of it. We feel the urge to be selfish and to act based on what we want but most of the time we slap ourselves awake in order to stay in the moral/society line. The questions remain and no fair answer to convince me… How straight can we walk through that line? How long can we stay on that line? How bad do we want to jump out of it? Are we rational wishing not to be?... that’s the tricky part and being honest I feel the urge to run wild…
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