Captivated - Stefani Germanotta a.k.a Lady Gaga

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmeTn1YK9Pc

This is exactly how I feel, Im sedated by my @M0r3f33n

One look and I'm done
One glance from your eyes
And I’m captivated

The taste of your skin
The warmth of your hungry lips has
me so taken and I
love the way you can make me dance
from miles away
When I'm with you I am so sedated
I'm captivated by you…

You're just like the wind cause
Everything moves when you are around it
The sun is just like the sound of
your voice in the morning
When you light my world up and I
love the way you can make me dance
from miles away
When I am with you I am never jaded,
I’m captivated

I never stopped believing
in this crazy love we live in
Sugar hold me close
and make me sweeter
I need you I love you

So please show me that smile
Make me laugh for just a little while
And dream near one breath
I want to fill the emptiness and I
love the way you can make me dance
from miles away
It's been so long but now I’ve waited and I am captivated...

Calling you - Blue October

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC8r5dQKwak

There’s something that I can’t quite explain
I’m so in love with you
you'll never take that away...

And if I said a hundred times before
expect a thousand more
you never take that away…

Well expect me to becalling you to see
if you're ok when I’m not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile?

Chorus

Well I will keep calling you to see
if you're sleeping are you dreaming and
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can’t believeyou actually picked...me

I thought that the world had lost its sway
(it’s so hard sometimes)
then I fell in love with you
(then came you)
and you took that away
(it’s not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)
you take away the old
show me the new
and I feel like I can fly
when I stand next to you
so what if I'm on this phone
a hundred miles from home
I take the words you gave
and send them back to you

I only want to see
if you're ok when I’m not around
asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do I try too hard to make you smile
to make a smile

Chorus [x 3]

I will keep calling you to see
if you're sleeping are you dreaming and
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can’t believe
you actually picked...me

To my dear prince...

October 23, 2009 - First Day of Forever

Solitude packed her bags the day that I met him
She moved to the building where broken hearts live
I don’t think I’ll miss her, I don’t miss being empty,
I don’t miss the darkness, I don’t miss the tears.

My heart was all beaten the day that I met him
My faith for “the magic” was almost all gone.
The frogs were just frogs, no prince in the making,
No dreams, no illusions, nothing to be done.

Clichés became true the day that I met him,
“When less I expect it” love came to my door,
I opened it faithless, denying the entry,
But he took me outside to stare at the sun.

The days became sleepless the week that I met him,
The fear of being in a dream maintained us awake.
We went through the days just smiling like crazy,
No bad things could come that we couldn’t take.

I never imagined the day that I met him
That in just a few days we were going to make love,
But no doubts were present, it became evidently,
That our souls met before hand, so it wasn’t all lust.

I regained my faith the day that I loved him,
We kissed through the whole night, we cuddle, we slept,
Our sweat became perfume, the noise became nothing,
The clock was our traitor and the next day our friend.

I still can’t believe the way that I met him,
Now I drown in his eyes just refusing to breathe
The laughter we share, how we keep connecting,
He calling me angel, me calling him prince.

Today is a month since the day that I met him,
I still fear the alarm of my wake up call,
But my heart is glowing, is no longer aching,
because the day that I met him, I also met love…

With you, to the moon!!!

Aroused...

Recently, I founded something new about me, some weird thing that it was hidden inside through all this years. Something scary, something maybe vane, but something that awakened a new person in me, that gave me a new idea of my perfect match… I found out that little things with passion could cause bigger results at the end. Almost like a vampire life, where senses are oversensitive and just a look, a breathing, a smell, a simple touch or even a smart conversation will lead you to a sexual physical reaction. I started to get aroused by ideas instead of actions and the end results were out of this world actions. Suddenly a simple sexual game changed my whole perspective in life and now I find myself looking for that feeling and the realization of those ideas…


B.M. – Waiting, just waiting…
Me- Waiting for what? I’m curious…
B.M- Waiting for a few things actually
Me- Uhumm… I’m still curious
B.M- That’s the whole point
Me-As always you mind tricker!! It’s not fair to be a teaser!
B.M.-Everybody is always waiting for something. I just like to make people curious
Me-Did you got to read my latest blog?
B.M. To whom it was dedicated?
Me-To the guy I told you about last time, that turned out to be a selfish asshole in search of vengeance and I paid the price…
B.M.-Has he caused all that pain??
Me-Well, you would never believe what a perfect sexual chemistry could cause in a heart… First time for me. Now I’m waiting for something that I believe I’ll never get…
B.M.- That’s the hardest wait, but we’re addicted to the pain…
Me- You would never beleive, but this is a guy which I never had sex with… funny huh?
B.M.- You should’ve had sex with him, at least to find out…
Me- Do you think I didn't tried to?? He was the cutest teaser alive, but I guess you always want more the things you can't easily have, apparently he knew that rule!! The result: so many sexual partners in my life and then this guy came out of nowhere and without no explanation possible caused some weird reactions in me, it was like trying an out of the planet drug with effects that you could never describe…
B.M.- Are you still getting divorce?
Me-Yes, I think so, I do love him to death and always will but it’s simply not the same anymore, I don't know later on, cause he has been my perfect drug for all this years, I don't know. We are really good friends now though... But, I’m looking for that drug again, trying to find it somewhere else and it’s scary cause that drug got something really dark out of me. Sometimes I wonder if that’s ok…
B.M.-The unknown is usually scary, only a few brave ones are willing to pay the price of that journey…
Me- Yeah, that’s exactly why I’m so stubborn about not settleling for anything less, now I want something else and I will find it, this guy could not be the only one in the world with this perfect drug for me, there’s got to be some more “pills” around, hahaha.
Me- Ohhh darling, your dear friend has grown into a very different person, a scary one hahaha. I’m just glad you get me and don’t get scare anymore. I need more guys like you around because I’m tired of feeling like I’m so wrong…
B.M.-What happens if you don’t find what you’re looking for? Every day I ask myself the same question I’m asking you now…
Me- NOW, at my 30’s, I know the answer for that, and I’m pretty sure that you know it also… If we don’t find it, we will be sadly unhappy, like missing some important part of our bodies. We’ll probably enjoy other things in life and keep our better “traditional” faces appearing to be happy but that will always haut us… For me is almost as sick and strong as a child predator that will be in jail for 30 years and will come out to be a good person and he will probably stay out of trouble for the rest of his life, but in the back of his mind he will always going to think about it. Sorry if that sounded disturbing but you know what I mean.
B.M.-Yes, that’s probably the same answer I find… So, are you willing to live a life of unhappiness in your pursuit of happiness?
Me- Ummmm, well, I don’t know what I will do to find it, but I do know what I have to quit to find it; even thought it’s hard because it’s a war between love and passion, I do have the love and it’s scary to leave that for the search of love and passion, I could end up without neither… In the end I rather live a naked truth than a well dress lie…
B.M.-Sometimes we already know all the answers and because the possible end result is scary, we wait, just wait… that might better answer your original question ;-)
Me- For me nothing really worthy in life comes without the will, or the risk… Even if it comes out bad at least you were decided and sure. For me I just don’t want to see my watch stopping while I’m still in the waiting, sometimes you need to take a step in order to get out of the maze, because the exit won’t come to you…
B.M.-Sounds like your mind is set…
Me- Yours will be too, you are just playing it safe but some day your own hell will break loose, some day, just wait…
Me- By the way, do you realize I just blog on your cell phone and through text message? hahahaha Thank you my dear friend, for this… I really needed to talk to you, I really hate that you are so living so far now, I miss our endless hours drinking and talking in a parking lot; you are my Beautiful Mind… one of a kind in my book.
B.M.-I’ll be looking for this on your blog
Me- In fact I’m writing it right now, don’t be scare about the outcome, just think about the name of my blog…
Me- Well my friend, good night and thank you for chatting. I hope it turned out into a little pleasure of life, while the other ones come. I feel…relief and in a weird sense of casualty I’m also… *(please refer to the title)
B.M.-Good night!... it was nice


*For my favorite pianist, my twin brother born one year later, my smartest/hot friend and truly one of the best friends I’ve ever found. Thanks C!

Karma is a Bitch!

En ti quedan heridas, queda dolor, odio, rencor y decepción. Yo he puesto mis manos en ellas con dulzura, intentando detener el sangrado, pero tu corazón es muy grande y bombea tan fuerte y rápido que mis manos se vuelven pequeñas para contener tal cascada y mientras siento que mueres, por mis ojos yo desangro…

He intentado abrir tus ojos y que veas el amor que aun queda en el mundo através de los míos, pero tu mirada está perdida, no quieres verme para no sentir alegría, privando tus sonrisas para no sentir el miedo que da cuando todo dentro se revuelve de emoción…

He besado tus labios con la pasión de los dioses, olvidándome que existo, que el mundo entero existe, deteniendo los relojes mientras carnosos susurran en tu boca palabras que no se escuchan, he tatuado pedazos de luna en tu piel y he intentado con mi saliva lavar tus pecados para que entre brillo y pureza logres ver en ti lo que yo veo: una estrella…

He intentado elevarte del suelo con un simple abrazo que te haga sentir seguro y hacerte flotar por las nubes, liviano, feliz y amado. Susurrar en tu oído diestro “No te voy a soltar” y que en un segundo exhales toda ansiedad y solo sonrías descansando en mi hombro…

He intentado que entiendas que no todo está perdido, que el dolor es un proceso que no se arranca a voluntad y todo se vuelve negrura, pero que mientras, nuestras vidas continúan y cosas buenas llegarán con alguna encomienda, por alguna razón y no podemos azotar la puerta a su llegada. Yo he calzado tus zapatos toda una vida y de no ser por eso, hoy no podría escribirte estas palabras, pero precisamente por eso también aprendí a detenerme a oler las flores que hallaba en el pedregal…

He intentado no intentarlo, no te miento, pero el mercurio aun me quema, aun me llama tu olor y tus dedos de artista. Aun siento mi corazón tropezar cuando te pienso y aun siento la humedad cuando te siento. Con la mitad de lo que siento vivirías media vida…

Es fácil despilfarrar cuando tenemos a manos llenas, pero en tiempos de austeridad deseamos haber racionado. Somos egoístas cuando nos sobra y humildes cuando nos falta. Ahora no aprecias lo que tienes o ni te importa si es verdadero, pero algún día lloraras con la intensidad que hoy lloro yo y ese día por tu dolor también lloraré…

Being Honest...

What is about us that we force ourselves to be something that I’m beginning to believe we’ll never be? We’ve been convincing ourselves that we are so different to animals, “rational creatures” we call ourselves and yes, we are indeed, but somehow we can’t deny our instincts, our deepest selves, no matter how hard you try to keep that part hidden, sooner or later, at least a little corner of that blanket will show…

We are creatures with too many feelings: love, desire, passion, hate, pity, compassion, selfishness, indifference and so. Also we have some other things that we learn along the way that becomes as strong as feelings for us: like religion, morals, education, respect and so. Then when we mix both parts, that’s when we become rational beings, when we use one part to support the other. For example: you love your mother based on gratitude and her unconditional love, when you marry someone because you love that person and you want to make a commitment of love and respect or when a woman becomes a nun and decide to be celibate because of her love to God and dedication to serve Him… But’ what really lives in our heart? Does that nun ever get horny? Does she fall from grace touching herself to relieve her inner heat? What happened when we commit to someone because we fell in love and we were so sure that we just founded the perfect person for us and then later in life you meet someone that fits you better, that really is your soul mate?? When you start feeling desire for more than one person at a time? When you wish you could have both?.... Do we cheat? Do we lie? Do we simply regret and keep our feet on the line? This is where our animal part comes out and we begin having fights with the emotions cocktail…

Is that really a bad thing? I suppose it is, but only because of my morals; but am I going against my human nature? Yes, I think so… Even when we decide not to follow our inner thoughts, they are already precisely that, inner thoughts… Is not that I think that just by thinking you are committing a sin, but I do happen to know that those thoughts will cause some other things, even if you don’t notice it, in order to set themselves free. Your subconscious does the dirty work for you…

We end up doing things because nobody wants to be the villain in the movie; we feel the compromise, the duty calling to be a “good human”. We exchange passion and sexual moments with people we don’t even like or love just because some other reasons and then we end up wishing for someone else. Some people are strong enough to be un-happy and un-satisfied the rest of their lives, some rather lie and cheat, for me both actions are simply wrong, but you can only choose one side and society wise, there’s only black and white, good or bad, no grays in between, whoever works with the grays will be pointed out as a mad man…

So, commitment after all it’s not our strongest quality, we usually hate ourselves for the lack of it. We feel the urge to be selfish and to act based on what we want but most of the time we slap ourselves awake in order to stay in the moral/society line. The questions remain and no fair answer to convince me… How straight can we walk through that line? How long can we stay on that line? How bad do we want to jump out of it? Are we rational wishing not to be?... that’s the tricky part and being honest I feel the urge to run wild…

Ode to Wine & Kissing

Almost like a breath you sneaked inside without warnings,
you sailed through my tongue smoothly,
dived into my throat and gave me life
just when I fainted, turning blue and lifeless.

You gave me peace, excitement,
I stood on my feet again
and tasted the fuel to retake my speed;
but as I started to feel the release
and my chest was no longer compress,
in the middle of my path
with all the excitement blooming back
just like a breath, you were gone.

Now I’m gasping for you
my lips are cracked,
my throat is dry.
I have no voice to shout:
“My destination is waiting!!,
Please don’t leave me now!!”

Just get deep inside once more
and run from steps to thoughts
send me flying aroused by your being
to a place where you think I belong.

Soul Slayer

I’ve never regretted anything in my life, probably I’ll never will and from every little thing, good and bad, I’ve learned. Sometimes I make the same mistakes again but at least I know what the possible outcome is or what to expect due to the previous experience. It’s hard though, for a person like me who usually follows the wrong things looking for interesting experiences, even when I know in advance that it’s probably a bad idea. At the end I’m the only one to blame, I’m the one who allows these things to happen, I’m the one who prefer to screw myself up before someone else does, that’s my mechanism, but right now I’m starting to think that the damage I cause to myself it’s way worst than the one somebody else could cause…

It’s almost like self destruction, knowing your killing your soul and continuing to do so. It’s like an energy drink, at first it gives you the feeling that you can take everything, that you have the power, that you can do anything, but at the end you crash, you end up feeling beat, your day suddenly becomes slower, your shoulders drop, your chest hurts and then you know that you should have listen to that inner voice that always tells you to stop.

I used to feel like this almost everyday long time ago, I almost forgot about it. Now I’ve brought back that demon that used to live inside and I know it will be hard to stop him for a long time. I guess I’ll have to get used to him again. The damage it’s done, so again, no regrets, I’ll keep living my days waiting for another chance to stab myself a little deeper. At least I will know how to cover the scar and move on…

I woke up upside down

I guess we all have one day in our lives where we wake up and experience this feeling that everything in your life sucks, probably more than one day and for some people maybe it’s everyday. You know, we all have issues and worries, nobody have a so called perfect life, we just manage to work things out, to ignore some other things, to go deep into the situation and lock the door; we all deal with it in different ways. Some people wake up one morning unable to deal with that “bad day” feeling no more, they get radical and go to the final solution: taking their own lives, I guess that for some people that’s a perfect relieve.

For me, I don’t know, suicide sounds relieving indeed, peaceful…You don’t have to think, you don’t have to work things out or deal with anything, in fact you don’t have to do shit anymore, but exactly, you will not do anything else again, you will loose the little good things that you enjoy, you will never get the chance to see the end of the movie, you won’t see what the future has saved for you…and that thought scares the hell out of me, beside that I don’t think I’ll ever got the balls to kill myself in any way.

I want to do so much with my life, I want to achieve and fulfill so many dreams, I want to minimize those “bad days” and instead I want to have more planned days, days with a purpose, with a goal, an agenda. Right now I have those days in mind, they are in my future but they seem so far and worst of all, I don’t even have a precise date for those days to come. I don’t want that, I want to say “this is what I will do tomorrow and the next day and so…” and really make it happened because that’s usually another problem the commitment.

It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m 15 years old, unable to take control of my life, unable to start making things happened and unable to just get the things that doesn’t help me at all and push them out of my life. I have a tendency for that, to get around things or people that doesn’t really contribute in any positive way to my life just because most of the time with those things and those people I feel better and its usually people that I love as much as they love me but I’ve learned in life that love doesn’t help you achieve things, love it’s not a valid excuse for failure, in fact in this selfish world we are living love it’s not a valid excuse for anything. “I am late for work because I’m in love” – you will be fired and called crazy, “I got bad grades at school because I’m in love” – you will not graduate and be called ignorant, “I’m helping her because I love her” – she won’t show her gratitude and you’ll be called stupid… See? Everybody thinks that love is a big thing, the big deal, but at the end love it’s just a word that comes out of your mouth way too much…

So, this is a bad day for me that I happened to hate so much because it’s the sequel of the bad day I had yesterday. I feel lost, I want to push everything out and I’ll probably will… I will survive and I will have a better day soon, I just have to organize myself and make a plan, well, I guess I already did while writing. Some things that I love will suffer but at the end it's easier to love when you love your days. So, I got work to do…

Like music to my ears

Finally, 2008 ends. It was such a long year for me, a lot of big things and big decisions happened during that year. I started the year with my husband leaving me to go to the army, to make our lives “better”, decision we both hated so much but money wise we were desperate. I knew that decision had a 50 / 50 percent chance of backfire on me. Well, we did bought our first house with the money from the army, paid up some debts and had fun, but a little after that, when he returned on June the other 50% started to come out. Lucky me that on July 1st it was our 6th wedding anniversary!! Yeah whatever… On march I turned 30 so it was kind of exiting for me, different from most of women I’ve always thought that I would start to have total control of my life from my 30’s to my 40’s and so far that’s my plan… I started studying again just to conclude that I’m too old for that now, working and studying this time was a nightmare for me, I’ve done it before but this time… well I’m just old but somehow I got to finish… Also, I finally took the decision of quitting my shitty job that had me so sad for 4 years, one day I said “Bitch you have 30 days to find a job well paid and that you love”, well it seems like the “Secret’ worked out, on day number 30 I received a call from my actual boss calling me for an interview and from 253 resumes she received, I got the job. I like to think that 30 is my new lucky number… On September my daughter turned 2 and she’s just lovely! On October for the first time we mention the word “divorce” and we went on and off, from crying to laughing and to crying again, between love and hate, truths and lies and waiting, waiting and waiting until our time ran out. So I made another huge decision, I wanted to be alone, decision that used to scare the shit out of me, but I started to see things with a different expectation.

The Sunrise from my Cellphone

Now I know I’m changed, I’ve lost 20 pounds, I’m flirting again, I took off my “no matter what I’ll never take it off” ring and so did my husband but way before me. I don’t know what will happen between us later on, but for now I want to fly away. I’ve started to commit to myself only. I’m having fun, I’m feeling good, and I am in peace. On the New Year Eve after celebrating the New Year arrival with my daughter and husband I went to a big party with a friend and after that we went to a stranger apartment to some get together where some other friends were. That was so not me, hanging out so late. I’ve always had a “get home before sunrise” policy but that day I did something I’ve never done before, I saw the first sunrise of a new year, 2009… It was beautiful, we had an amazing view and everybody was happy, enjoying and so was I and that was the moment when I finally felt that I was going to be alright and that 2009 would be good to me. So, starting the New Year I got a “flirt” call early in the morning, I made peace with my husband to keep it civil until the divorce it’s over and I made some new friends that night… I can’t complain except for the fact that I had to work early in the morning, yes I did! The rest was just perfect! Good luck to all, Peace!

Late at Night...

I have a little hangover and this morning has started as bored as yesterday's. Last night I decided to get out of my sad cave and went to meet with some other friends. After a bottle of red wine and a couple of cigarettes there I was, again, listening to some music, from some guitar, from a guy I haven’t met before. He was so into his music and I guess from all the people around appearing to be enjoying, I bet I was the only one really listening. His music was perfect for my ears and for my taste; I guess he was kind of sad also and we got to communicate through music, silently.

By that time I was wishing I had a "booty" call. Hey! I’m human! Wine kicks the flirt side out of me. I couldn’t do anything bad in front of my friends, I had to behave just to avoid the “talking behind my back” thing, not that I care too much but since facebook was created its better to avoid it. So I wanted to leave, I wanted to think, to be alone, so I got in my car and started driving, just driving. It was 3:00am; I was in a flirt mode, with a sexy outfit, no one to call and no one to see. I was having fantasies that suddenly some one started flirting back in a red light or that some old friend texted me with the same mood I was in, but no, never happened.

So, I got home around 4:30am, showered, got my headphones on and went to bed expecting that some guitar music helped me to sleep shutting off the internal effect that some other guitar turned on earlier. I guess it worked plus I was tired. Today my day is not as fun, it’s silent again, no music, no talking, no guitars. I’m going to survive another day and maybe in the night I go around again searching for some music to make it easier… That’s a nice drug to handle life events. For me at least…

It feels like Christmas...

Last night I went to sleep with the knife out. The knife I’ve been having stuck to my chest for a long time now, months. I couldn’t sleep, the pain was unbearable. Until last night the pain was silent, strong but quiet inside, manageable, but everyday was worst, because I started to take the knife out one inch at a time. With every inch I lost a memory, a moment, a feeling. So many good things were inside, years of happy times but when the cruel truth of human nature stabs me all those things started to bleed. Last night it was my last inch, I took it out, completely out. The open cavity in my chest now was a door for other things to get in, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, darkness…But, I wanted all those good things from the past to be out, why would I like to keep a lie?, it doesn’t help at all. In fact being kind of poetic about it doesn’t help either. This is not a poem, this is me now.

I’m looking in the wrong places for the right reasons. I’m wishing for the right one but finding the wrong one. Just now it came to my mind if the right thing, the right feeling, it even exist. Did I was in that place before this? It felt right so maybe I was, or maybe I just created that status in my mind and believed it. Anyway, as I said, we are humans with lots of defects and like animals we have instincts that we can’t go against. Maybe that’s our nature to bring happiness along with suffering, even thought we try not to…

Anyway it’s sad, I am sad. I just bled something good that suddenly became something else, something unknown for me. I wonder how long it will take to my wound to be close, if it close at all. By the way, tonight it’s Christmas and I just hate it…

S*** !

Should I keep writing? Damn it! I think it doesn't help at all, I don't even know if someone is reading anyways...

This things should be kept in my mind only, sharing them it's a crime...

I don't know...

The list...

She is sitting in her desk like every weekday, trying to make a task list for the day to make it appear longer. Usually there is so much work to do that time flies… She takes a moment and put her fingers in her forehead and started to “iron” it from the center to the sides. “What’s going to happened?” she asks herself. The same question she’s been asking over and over, but no answer has come to it. Then as she close her eyes, a rain of “what ifs” started to fall over her.

The wondering overpowers her, so many possibilities, so many risks, so many new adventures; she liked the new things, the unknown, to learn, but the new scares her right now. “How will I project myself to don’t become misunderstood? Do I have to explain myself more often now or should I simply get back to being the rebel I used to be?” “I’m too old for being a rebel” she said. “The world requires explanation for pretty much everything now.”

“I need to start making a task list for my life now, what I’ll do first?, what not to do again?, what to keep doing?” That was the most important question and the hardest to answer, “What to keep doing?”, by all means…

But as everyday now, again she decided to shut the thinking off for a while and be back to work on the initial task list, so she opened her eyes again and changed the forehead for a mouse, and just with a click she went back to work…

With your head on the moon.

Did you change the page?
I never opened the book.
Were you scared of the reading?,
Did you felt getting little
as approaching my loop?

I’m not here to be a judge,
I don’t care what you do.
Sweep it under my rug,
come and give me a hug
and return to your moon.

Point of no return

Him: Don't be depressed
Her: Trying not to
Him: You shouldn't, this is human nature
Her: Still...

Him: We are all sinners and we all go through the same, even when it's not admitted
Her: It's just a little weird
Him: Uncomfortable?
Her: No, not that...I'm just thinking I went to a different dimension a few minutes ago, I opened a door and now I'm locked inside, the door just disappeared all I have is the longest hallway of my life, it never ends, and I can see some other doors from here, that I'll probably cross also and they'll probably disappear after it too. I can't go back now... I've opened so many doors already...
Him: True, but fuck it!

Her: Well, take care...
Him: You too and hey!, the next time I'm buying...

Burning Inside

Your skin looks pink, and soft like an angel. Everything match's up, even your eyes and smile when they make a conspiracy to enchant me. As beautiful and dangerous as the devil was once and I know I will burn in your hell if you touch me.

My hair will be pulled, you'll spit on my face, my body will be managed as a barrel, pulled and throwed and turned around. No pity in your hands, no caring on your eyes and I will only get bites and devilish licks, no kisses will come out of your mouth.

I will reach the climax and fuck!, I'll enjoy it, but my cum will be accompanied by tears. After that it will be over and you'll be back to your pit, where you'll lick all the dirt out of your pawns. I will never hear from you again, until your hell gets too hot and you claim another creature to be sacrifice in your bed.

So please call me whore and talk dirty to me, promise you'll fuck me good. Lick and scratch me, bite your teeth and get mad while you fuck me. Pin me to the wall and break my clothe, and if I move, slap me. Pull my head while I'm down there and make me choke on your cum, make me swallow, make me enjoy it and then tell me to fuck off.

That's how you really want it huh?, that's what you want to hear. I even bet you have it vivid in your mind right now. Even myself gets hot after writing it, I know I hit the nail for a man, I know baby, I know...

I sure can think like you, but can you think like me?, can you feel the rape and enjoy it? Ohhh you can!!... Great!!, so bend over bitch and don't look annoyed, put a smile on that face 'cause I'm about to begin, and after I finish you will need a stitch...